Dreaming is a work in progress. All of the notes from this journal are being synthesized in order to make sense of my several years of journalizing experiences in Lucid Dreaming. Order has more to do with the order of making sense rather than that of space and time sequence in a logical time line as you know it. Dreams do not make logical sense. They are a mosaic, a puzzling portrait of pieces that combine with other pieces to make something altogether unique.
Working from within my dreaming has been the most productive, consuming, and self fulfilling work of my entire life; Dreaming is my spiritual work. I have been as able as I can possibly be to recall dreams from my childhood, young adulthood, and adulthood together to discover the hidden perceptions and resources I have from within in my Dreaming Self/Soul.
I began the experiences of waking up in dreaming when I was child. At that time, I had many dreams about my future as a dream teacher. I was given gifts to take out share with the world. the gifts came as packages. I realized that I could manifest things within my dreams and became involved in an inner discipline to control my dreamscape.
I learned how to go out of body during nap times at my school as a child. I did not want to take a nap and would rather float out of my body and roam around the out sides of the building. I did not know this experience was anything different than anyone else was experiences yet I could not talk about because I thought people would think I was weird.
In third grade, I began studying chemistry, biology, geology, mathematics, the biographies of Houdini, work by Freud, clairvoyance, clairesentience, and other psi material. I became interested in the Tarot and Astrology in Junior High.
As a teen I was invited to attend Classes on Psychic Awareness. Various members of family taught me that my out of body experiences being normal. I also began seeing auras but never regularly.
After high school, I began psychic training along with hypnotherapy training and continued my studies through out to the present.
I began waking up and traveling through tunnels between dimensions of parallel time and space realties while I was in college. AT first, I thought I was crazy. Yet I was fascinated by my inner worlds. To understand what was happeing to me, I began studying Greek Philosophy and found that the Ancients were Lucid Dreamers.
After changing my major to Philosophy, I began learning how to Use Logic Inside my Dream Scapes to test them logically. I began testing dream world for the various sensations - sight, sound, taste, touch, smell. I learned that I could eat anything and feel full. I learned that the inner realms feel as real or solid as the outer world.
During the last few years of college, I began experiencing Dreaming Teachers inside my dreams who would teach me how to utilize techniques inside my dreams to control them. Various beings/entities of dreaming took me into other dimensions of time/space. I learned about my past selves. Much later, after experimenting inside the dream worlds, I began learning about my future selves.
The most shocking time/space dimension I experienced was parrellel selves. I began waking up inside my dreams and being taught how to change channels between seperate realites which were co-creating eachother.
I have found that the dream worlds are as real as the world we perceive. My current work is based on training I received while training from inside my dreams. My dream beings led me to discover realms of reality beyond what I ever imagined as real.
As I began to enter the dreaming realms more and more, I became fascinated and intrigued with the dimensionallity of the dreaming scapes. I would wake up as other people. I lost my identity to the dream beings. I became many other people in other dimensions of time and space. I became both male and female beings of different races and time periods.
I began studying past life research to find out how other people were experiencing past lives. I was having dreaming scenes of being in various time periods both in the past and the future.
DOLFINA is the intent to share the core perceptions
of DreamTime in order to direct you to the source of your own dreams so
that more and more of us become aware of our commonality and duality as
a society.
"I am in a hospital bed when a few men take me into a room, a square room with white walls. The room is approximately the size of a medium bedroom. I feel like I am a prisoner of some kind. The room reminds me of a hospital room. I have the feeling that I am locked inside this room as if held as a captive or prisoner. I am sitting in a chair in the center of the room. There is no art or furniture; there nothing but barren floor tiles on the floor. The tiles are about two feet by two feet wide. The tile are black and white squares of about a foot wide. I am not thinking too much. It is as if I am in a daze, in some weird trance. I am not having any fear or other emotions.I wake up knowing that I have been aware of my self in an awareness of paying attention to my dreaming from within my dreaming. I do not know what I was dreaming. I felt that I had indeed met two men who rescued me but I did not know who they were and what the dream meant. The dream felt as real as my real day time life.One black tile slides up from the wedges floor where the tiles meet and two men come out from beneath the square opening. They motion to me a gesture with their hands. "Come over here!" I still fell no emotion. Yet, I find my self following them down beneath the tiled floor to another room. This room is smaller room, about ten feet by ten feet. I find my self sitting in a chair in front of several video monitors on a counter style desk.
The two men tell me that they are "rescuing me from the mind controllers of the world. We are watching them on satellite," they explain to me. "We are debriefing you." After they debriefed me, although I do not recall the debriefing session, they walk me to the wall behind me. The wall slides open and I walk out onto the college campus which I have been attending for a few years. I am walking on the walk way between the library and the science hall.
I am walking past the campus library I notice people walking past me saying, "Hi, Gizelle!" I recognize faces of people who I had met at many times in town and at school. Their bodies were subtle almost as if they were partly invisible with a whitish glow.
I then notice that I have an envelope in my left hand. I look at it and open it. There is a letter, written in gold, inside. It says, "Dear Dolfina.,..." It goes on to spell out my mission as a soul being on earth in this lifetime. The letter says that I have had many lifetimes to perfect my soul and that I have been working very hard this lifetime on clearing my intentions in order to intend from my soul being and correct both the past and future lifetimes simultaneously. I do not know why I know but I know that the words I am reading feels, rings, true within me. I am excepting the words as I sense them directly in my mind.
I felt that I wanted to verify that letter is real so I begin looking for the two men on campus. I go up the stairway to the top floor heading up to a college administrator's office. I have the feeling that he is one of the men who rescued me from the Mind controllers. I approach him in his office and show him the letter in my left hand. I request that he tell me the meaning of the letter. He tells me that he does not know what I was talking about and acts like I am asking him something weird. I feel that he did know but is hiding it from me."
This dream has come to be a pivotal dream in my search to understand my mission in life. This formative dream has given me the feeling that I have been called to do a work from a deep sense of my soul awareness of being a soul in a body. What that work has been has been nebulous to me except that I am called to create from dream time.
I would like to say that I do not know everything yet all my dreams teach me all that I need to know about life. I know that my dreaming awareness guides me through life. However, I have lost the meaning of life as I was trained to believe in meaning. When I have emerged from dreaming my sense of self has been lost more and more. What held meaning for me yesterday holds nothing for me today. In this way, I can never know anything really. Knowledge slips out of my hands like the letter in my dream.
Dreaming awareness is awesome. I want to share my world of dreams with you in order to show you how to open your heart and mind. We all have stories. My dreamtime stories are the realities I live. Yours will be unique to you. Stories of our lives are invisible perceptions which we cannot see unless we feel them to be true. We are living our dreams and we do not even see it because we are blinded from seeing from the core of our Dreaming awareness.
During the next several months during the fall of 1993, I dreamt a series of dreams in which I did in fact wake up inside my dreams in consecutive sequences. For the previous year and half, I had been on the verge of waking up and becoming aware of my dreaming. However, I did not know it. I had been in pure fear of sleeping. I was paranoid that I had entered a realm of weirdness beyond the known world. I was, of course, right.
My dream of being rescued from the mind controllers opened a new awareness about my dreaming of which had not made any sense to me in prior dreams. Before this, I had been in paranoiac fear that beings were abducting me from inside my sleep. They were abducting me; I felt as if I had been abducted somewhere where I had no control, no understanding, and no real recall of what was happening to me. I thought beings were coming into my dreams to play with my mind. During Thanksgiving the prior year, the year before I chose to enter my dreams wide awake, I had the following dream:
"I am sleeping on the spare bed at my mom's home for the weekend of Thanksgiving. I am in fear of sleeping and I do not know why I am feeling so uncomfortable. The darkness is scaring me yet everyone is home in the house. My body is disappearing. I feel nothing but a deep sense of emptiness and fear. I am hearing voices speaking to me, I hear them whispering in each one of my ears. My body trembles in absolute terror, the fear of being in between realities, separating from my body.I felt like I had not slept the entire night after this experience. I was in total terror. I could not sleep alone after that. I needed to constantly be surrounded by people. I thought I had been abducted by aliens or demons. I was not certain at all. That was in 1992.There are invisible, black beings whispering to me, "We are teaching you the power of the universe... don't tell anyone..." I feel my body slipping into the layers of blackness of the universe. I feel like I am moving between layers of one universe and then another. The beings take me on a journey through the darkness. I cannot see anything. I can only sense nothingness. thingness. Yet, there are different layers of nothingness. I am in total dread... I have no control over my beingness. I have no body or sense of an outline or shape of a body."
By the end of the following fall, I came across a book written by Carlos Casteneda. By the time I read his book, 'Journey to Ixtlan', at the end of 1993, my dreaming had begun to make sense to me. I discovered that the main character, Don Juan, had been teaching Casteneda how to enter dreaming just as I had been falling into it. It was at that time when I realized that I had been experiencing the same experiences that don Juan was telling Casteneda about. The term lucid dreaming has been coined by dream researchers during the past century. However, lucid dreaming is the core work of all spiritual work. The mode of awakening throughout the experiencing of Dreaming is the pre-requisite of enlightenment.
Once I discovered that what I had been experiencing had been experienced by other people, my fear began to dissolve. I began to recall dreams more and more and wake up inside them more and more. I entered Dreaming by will. One of the first dreams of a series of dreams which came to me after I began reading the collection of books by Casteneda, were a series of dreams in which I had become interested and even intrigued with the dream worlds. Instead of waking up in fear, I was waking up inside my dreaming regularly.
In one dream, during the Winter of 1993, I dreamt:
At the end of the year, I had a series of dreams where I indeed became intensely aware that I was inside dreaming. In the past, I had been seeing my dreams on a dream screen which was much like a video screen. I had been referring to the screen in my mind as my "dream screen" whenever I told my friends about it.
On one particular night, I began observing my dream screen. I was aware that my eyes were closed and that I was watching my self dreaming. I decided to a ask my dream screen a question. Being awake, the background of my dream screen became blackened and a hand appeared with a pen. The hand to manipulate the pen, writing in white letters. The message was the answer to my question.
I cannot recall what I was asking. I was asking questions from a voice inside my self. This voice was not directed by me, as I was aware of my self. This voice was a voice I had not been previously aware of. The questions were the same questions that had been driving my life, but I had not posed these questions to my self before.
The hand wrote in cursive but I could not read it because it was blurry. It was a cursive that was not my own and especially not how I write when I use a pen. The cursive was much more clear and perfect than my usual writing. However, I still could not read. I remember squinting to see it and losing the clarity. There have been many many occasions in which I have awoken to the view of my dream screen but could not decipher letters and squinted to see clear. I have noticed that squinting while dreaming specifically causes the pictures to fade out and I lose clarity.
Up until that point in my life, I thought I might be on the verge of being crazy. I can see now why Don Juan had told Casteneda that there are four phases of being a dreamer. He had said the first phase was being in fear. I had spent almost two years in fear, total dread. I was paranoid of going to sleep. I could not have understood what I was dreading yet I was caught in something so powerful that I felt out of control. I do not know that I ever felt in control in my life. I tend to think that I may have lived my life surviving one crisis after another and had sheltered my self from my feeling true fear. I had convinced my self that everything was okay and that I was working towards something.
On the other side of fear, after I began to accept my dreaming practice, I began to see my power. I felt so empowered that I felt more powerful than anyone around me. I was in the second phase - power tripping. I was power tripping.
All along, I knew that I was having powerful spiritual experiences. I just did not understand what they meant in my life. I had been on the other side and had not processed how to integrate my new found awareness with my day to day life. My spiritual attention was entering a turning point. I opened my self wholly and freely to my new found realms of existence. I became a traveler into the unknown and I did not even know the consequences. Yet, I knew that I could not stop my self. as I was intrigued, fascinated, and exhilarated by my new play grounds.
After all these years of playing in the field of dreams, I am still fascinated. To be a life long dreamer is to constantly be open to new energy, new perceptions, new awareness while constantly paying attention.
Dolfina Online Training or you may search our through the Galaxy Catalog and/or order from Twilight BookZone
Dolfina's Dream Journal, copyright by Jodell/Jodi Yvonne Bumatai-Cartwright-Sovereign 1997-2000, no copies permitted for resale in any form, written or otherwise.